I Was So Offended!
07/20/12 Categories: Emotions | Empowerment
Who knows what Gremlins lurk in the subconscious caves of your past hurts
and wounds?
and wounds?
How does it happen? Your day is perfect. Everything is running smoothly, albeit with the usual challenges and interruptions, and then it happens. When you least expect to be attacked, challenged, or have your credibility questioned, it comes at you out of the blue.
There is no warning. There is no way to prepare for an event like this. And it came from someone you trusted. Guess what? It really was no biggie. Really, it wasn’t. Except that this question, although harmless, seemed to hit some kind of target. The words cut you deeply and the visceral response in your body is too intense to ignore.
You feel defensive. You don’t want to admit it, but you’re angry, even enraged. And then the stories—‘How dare he/she?’ ‘I did nothing wrong,’ I’m doing the best that I can,’ “Geez, get off my back”—begin to fill your mind. The war is on. The fight is furious. The words and stories in your mind play on and on, over and over until a rage builds that you can’t stand anymore.
As the pain and hurt in your body grow, you’ll likely find yourself determined to get to the bottom of this disagreement. Against your better judgement you’ll likely stomp into the other room where your partner is deep in another world of concentration, and demand to know what he/she meant by that. Your tone and body language make your partner feel defensive. Now, both individuals in this relationship are in ‘fight or flight.’
Has this happened to you? How often have you been here? What do you do when something that was said creates a storm of hurt or rage? Do you know how to navigate those watery depths of emotions that can carry you away to the cave of despair?
What do you do when the reality in your mind is not the reality in your partner’s mind? Or when your partner remembers something differently from how you remember the same event?
What deep inner work needs to be done to heal the hypersensitivity that exists so that you are not offended like this again?
Imagine yourself waking up from this nightmare in less than a day, before too much damage is done to your relationship, because you had learned what to do to return to your core where you have a more expansive view of the facts.
Past hurts lurking in the subconscious almost always set the stage for present suffering. Would you know what to do? Would you know how to stop the flood of bad feelings and hurt?
Imagine yourself being able to suspend your judgement and gain control of your own fight or flight emotions. Imagine if what started as an innocent misunderstanding, with no malevolent intent from either of you, did not need to become an enormous feud with the potential to last for years or even a lifetime.
There are solutions to the emotional gremlins that hide in the subconscious caves of everyone’s past hurts and wounds. There are answers to the darkness inside of each of us. You may wish to avoid or ignore this, but by now you’ve most likely fully experienced the futility of that wish all on your own.
When the emotional response is so out of proportion to the ‘trigger,’ then one is experiencing what Dan and Chip Heath, the co-authors of Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, call the Elephant and the Rider.
In the metaphor of the elephant and the rider, the rider—or our intelligence—is either at the mercy of the powerful elephant, which represents our subconscious and emotional side, or the rider is in a place of power directing the elephant in graceful coherence and cooperation.
It’s so easy when the elephant and rider work together. That’s when life is filled with ease and joy.
I believe that this is the better way to live. Do you?
Ready for powerful change? Transformation?
Rachel offers one of the most life-changing, transformative and empowering opportunities available in the coaching field today. All areas of your life will be positively affected. More confidence, an improved sense of well-being, a quieter mind, a healthier body, and better balance in the areas of your life that matter most. Gentle energy techniques create change quickly and efficiently, and provide the expanded consciousness and insightful self-knowledge to empower you to exuberant action and creativity.
Click the link below to download the questionnaire for Rachel’s Complimentary Strategy Session. Upon receipt of your completed questionnaire, we’ll contact you to schedule your complimentary 60-minute strategy session.
Comp Session Questionnaire
There is no warning. There is no way to prepare for an event like this. And it came from someone you trusted. Guess what? It really was no biggie. Really, it wasn’t. Except that this question, although harmless, seemed to hit some kind of target. The words cut you deeply and the visceral response in your body is too intense to ignore.
You feel defensive. You don’t want to admit it, but you’re angry, even enraged. And then the stories—‘How dare he/she?’ ‘I did nothing wrong,’ I’m doing the best that I can,’ “Geez, get off my back”—begin to fill your mind. The war is on. The fight is furious. The words and stories in your mind play on and on, over and over until a rage builds that you can’t stand anymore.
As the pain and hurt in your body grow, you’ll likely find yourself determined to get to the bottom of this disagreement. Against your better judgement you’ll likely stomp into the other room where your partner is deep in another world of concentration, and demand to know what he/she meant by that. Your tone and body language make your partner feel defensive. Now, both individuals in this relationship are in ‘fight or flight.’
Has this happened to you? How often have you been here? What do you do when something that was said creates a storm of hurt or rage? Do you know how to navigate those watery depths of emotions that can carry you away to the cave of despair?
What do you do when the reality in your mind is not the reality in your partner’s mind? Or when your partner remembers something differently from how you remember the same event?
What deep inner work needs to be done to heal the hypersensitivity that exists so that you are not offended like this again?
Imagine yourself waking up from this nightmare in less than a day, before too much damage is done to your relationship, because you had learned what to do to return to your core where you have a more expansive view of the facts.
Past hurts lurking in the subconscious almost always set the stage for present suffering. Would you know what to do? Would you know how to stop the flood of bad feelings and hurt?
Imagine yourself being able to suspend your judgement and gain control of your own fight or flight emotions. Imagine if what started as an innocent misunderstanding, with no malevolent intent from either of you, did not need to become an enormous feud with the potential to last for years or even a lifetime.
There are solutions to the emotional gremlins that hide in the subconscious caves of everyone’s past hurts and wounds. There are answers to the darkness inside of each of us. You may wish to avoid or ignore this, but by now you’ve most likely fully experienced the futility of that wish all on your own.
When the emotional response is so out of proportion to the ‘trigger,’ then one is experiencing what Dan and Chip Heath, the co-authors of Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, call the Elephant and the Rider.
In the metaphor of the elephant and the rider, the rider—or our intelligence—is either at the mercy of the powerful elephant, which represents our subconscious and emotional side, or the rider is in a place of power directing the elephant in graceful coherence and cooperation.
It’s so easy when the elephant and rider work together. That’s when life is filled with ease and joy.
I believe that this is the better way to live. Do you?
Ready for powerful change? Transformation?
Rachel offers one of the most life-changing, transformative and empowering opportunities available in the coaching field today. All areas of your life will be positively affected. More confidence, an improved sense of well-being, a quieter mind, a healthier body, and better balance in the areas of your life that matter most. Gentle energy techniques create change quickly and efficiently, and provide the expanded consciousness and insightful self-knowledge to empower you to exuberant action and creativity.
Click the link below to download the questionnaire for Rachel’s Complimentary Strategy Session. Upon receipt of your completed questionnaire, we’ll contact you to schedule your complimentary 60-minute strategy session.
Comp Session Questionnaire
