Another View of Hearts and Flowers
Reflecting on Valentine's Day
It’s February 14th and the calendar is reminding us that it’s time to celebrate love with cupid and arrows, hearts and valentines, diamonds and chocolates. But I’m actually thinking today of another side of love, the side of love that hurts. The side of love that awakens with loss and pain.
Some of us are very afraid of this side of love because we know that any discrepancies in our loving relationships will break the heart when we allow it. And if we don’t allow the heart to break, there is no other recourse. We shut down, numb out, and maybe even turn to stone.
Over the last few years, my heart has been broken in so many places because of love. And even though we would all much rather speak about the many joys of bathing in the glow of love, it’s important for us to remember that the pain of love is also a testimony to how deep, authentic, and beautiful our capacity for love is; how human and divine our love is. We learn that the pain of love is so often the pain of being fully alive.
In my experience as a mother I’ve learned that we actually love the individuals that we give to the most. The more energy and attention you and I give to another, the more powerfully we love them.
Think of the many times at night a mother rises from her sleep to nurse her child, or the many nights of worry waiting for a teenage son to arrive home from a party.
Or the pain of love that crushes a mother’s heart when she hears that a daughter has stage IV cancer. Or the pain of hearing a guilty sentence for a son you know was framed and is innocent. Do we feel this pain because we do not love? No. This pain is the awesome pain of deep, enduring love.
When we love someone deeply we feel with him or her. Empathy is certainly one of the most beautiful qualities of the human heart, but what happens to us when empathy causes you and I to break down instead of ‘breaking through?’
What happens when we have forgotten to love ourselves first? In this case, sacrificial love is certainly not healthy. It’s the perfect setup for total burnout.
The first rule of love that we must learn is not to abandon ourselves. We must first honor our own needs of self-care. We must learn to love ourselves so that we can love our neighbor with the same kind of love.
The question is: If you are to love even more deeply, how much do you love yourself? How much attention are you giving to your own needs? How do you feel when you look in the mirror? Do you feel love and compassion? Or do you see something else?
Since the way we see our world is a reflection of the way we see ourselves, the time has come for each one of us to cultivate an intense feeling of deep affection for our own beautiful humanity.
You and I, and every one of us on this planet, are a reflection of the Divine in the world. Every person we meet is a reflection of the Infinite pattern of perfection.
I challenge you to see the divine blueprint in you and me and everyone you meet, not only today on Valentine's Day, but each and every day.
If you have a heart pain that needs healing and attention, I invite you to click the link and review my complimentary strategy session opportunity.
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Blessings,
